Fat men are funny. I'm getting funnier by the day.

So this past weekend, with out of town friends of the dear Piggy in tow, we went to see John Pinette at the San Jose Improv. Very...VERY...funny. Beer out the nose funny. Changed my mood completely for 2 or 3 days funny. So, yeah, funny. You might know him from his infamous "Chinese Buffett" bit or various bit film and TV parts. His new act is very funny and all that crap is right here on everyone's favorite free online encyclopedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Pinette

On another note, I really like San Jose. Living between the two big Bay Area cities is odd in that -- A) about 4 million of the 5 million people in the area do. B) 90% of us wish we lived where everyone else is. Locks in the 'Prozac-nation' feel of the place.

The problem is, San Jose still rolls up the streets on most nights. The area around San Jose state stays bumping occassionally, but the whole downtown area really shuts down at about 10pm. It has been a much lamented fact that after a show or event in SJ, you just go home. You can't go hit the town. Much to the chagrin of the local economy. And horrible in the fact that so many great resturants (Original Joes, Hawg's Seafood, etc.) and potential nightspots are tucked into this clean, quirky metro-stop in Silicon Valley. If anyone is randomly reading this out in cyberspace and wants to fill me in on how to get around this little bump -- PLEASE DO! It is, logistically, a hell of a lot easier and cheaper to get to SJ than SF from just about anywhere. Not to mention that parking thing.

Other notable events:
1> Piggy and her tourist companions have seen many sites in the area this week:
-- Winchester Mystery House in Santa Clara: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winchester_Mystery_House
Shows what $20 million and a screw loose could buy you in 1913.
-- Monopoly in the Park, the world's largest Monopoly Board!
http://www.monopolyinthepark.com/
-- Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.
http://www.beachboardwalk.com/
-- Golden Gate Park, Japanese Tea Garden, Haight-Ashbury District in San Fancisco.
www.youlookitupyoulazybastard.com

2> I'm sitting on my butt at work and wishing I was out with them to see all this. To that point, more people need to come visit so I can be a tourist too! (sic. I did get to buy them dinner at In-n'-Out Burger, that is just the kind of guy I am.)

So, the door to heaven is guarded by 7 or so elderly, somewhat portly, black gentlemen with shining instruments. They dress in co-ordinated colors and play some mean blues. About 8 o'clock, they start a fanfare that eventually brings god out on stage, dressed in a purple tinged tuxedo. He is a roughly 80 year old, smiling, portly black man with a guitar forged of purified Hell's Onyx and the power of creation dims to his power to control emotion with his music.

I got photos, here are a couple:

BB's ability to still move an entire audience with performance and stage presence far outweighs any slight nicks in his game that come with being 80, diabetic and playing a 30+ city road show. The consummate showman, any slight glitches (from a late entry pick up to getting a little out of breath on a 15 minuet set) were done tongue in cheek and added to the flavor of the show. All in all, they were a plus for him and his band of road show veterans that exuded power and jubilation while practicing their craft with a living legend. No one was putting it through the paces that night, not even ones that might have an excuse. I feel truly blessed to have seen this. It really was on my list of "things to do before I die" and I found it truly inspiring. Object lesson: You are only done when you say you are done. Only finished when you say you quit.

God, I wish everyone could have seen this. I was transported to a blissful Utopia for almost 2 hours that night. Thank you and God bless you BB King.

Waldo.

BB King tonight at the Mountain Winery. That is about all I think I need to say.

(pics and updates later)

Vegas, Vegas...eh, more Vegas.

So this past week has seen me in oh-so-sunny and unseasonably HUMID Las Vegas. While I'm the first person to enjoy a trip to Vegas, its no secret that in my pseudo-crippled blind ass state, poker has proved to be one of the few hobbies I have left that I have any level of proficiency at. However, this proves the saying that you can have too much of a good thing. BUT! Most importantly, another key piece fell into place on the "stuff to do before I die list" so there is a big silver lining to dealing with furniture and shoe conventioneers from across the pond.

This month is the World Series of Poker and yours truly was dropped right into the middle of it. I did play an event, I'll get to that later, but one of the most interesting things was seeing it as a true measure of the growth and legitimacy of the industry. The Gaming Lifestyle Show (interesting name) filled a huge convention room at the Rio and was packed side to side with all manner of businesses plying their wares. While it was dominated by the online cardrooms/casinos, there were several other small businesses and media groups pimping themselves as well. While touring as the unofficial spokesperson and promo-pimp for the guys at "Life’s A Bluff" (www.lifesabluff.com) I was able to meet dozens of famous poker pros and World Series Bracelet winners and media magnates. (Get ready for the name dropping) Including:

Greg Raymer (cut him off in the buffet line and then he ate off my used plate...interesting story, but a hell of a down to earth guy to mix with us all at the PPA event -- keepin' poker legal.)
Chris "Jesus" Ferguson
Doyle Brunson
Todd Brunson
Jennifer Harmon
Phil Laak
Mike Sexton
Joe Sebok, Gavin Smith and Scott Huff ('The Circuit' Poker Radio Hosts on Sirrius and at CardPlayer.com, fun show with great tips)
Bart Hanson (of 'Live at the Bike' fame. A special hello to former LA tournament grinder Ronnie McMillan who is doing the website graphics for L@tB.)
Humberto Brenes
Antonio Esphandiari
Joe Hachem
Max Pescatori (Congrats on your first bracelet Max)
Jhonny Chan (Twice. Sorry if I bothered you Mr. Chan.)
Phil Gordon (Thanks for the tournament advice Mr. Gordon, it helped me do well, see below)
Howard Lederer (Best “who the hell are you” stare, and then friendly handshake)
David Williamson III (I still think he looks like the guy from Night Court)
Byron Liggett (Columnist for the NW for Poker Player and a guy that was cool enough to share a couple of drinks with a bunch of 30 something web-heads that enjoyed all his stories.)
Mhin "the Master"
Scotty Nguyen

And above all, the Life's A Bluff Crew. (Quack Quack)

Vegas got me thinking and I decided that if I could pop my little chunk of my bankroll into something substantial, I would try to enter the last braceleted event in the world series, Event #40, the $1000 NL Hold 'Em "Donkey Rodeo". Short stacked, fast blinds (compared to other events) and low buy-in it is known to be a fast action, Russian Roulette style game. Actually, very similar to the dozens of events that I've played so I figured I had an edge. Well, they (strongly) cut off the entries at 1100 and 100 alternates due to a chip shortage (WTF??) and lil' old me got in. It was because I won a night tournament that I entered with the LaB team and split a 3 way win for first and $1,100 plus some cash from a few side games and, well, that went right into Event #40 with some cash back. Well, about 1200 people and I finished around 120 in. So, top 10% and on a hell of a run till a bad beat on a perfect move chunked out half my chips, I finished in view of the money, but not quite there. I call it a heck of a virgin WSOP attempt.


Note, I'm tired, the spelling could suck, and I may have left some people out, but here is the story and I hope you loved it. I'm happy to be home and ready to do it again next year.

Want to know who the players are? www.cardplayer.com and find the profiles.

Cheers!

Two of the people I swore to see before I die, in a one two punch!

So, late in posting this experience, but July 16th on top of a hill in the San Jose area wine country, one of my "must do" concert experiences occured, and the other opened its doors to me. July 16th was Blue Travler in concert and trust me, every positive thing that you have heard about them in concert is true, naysayers can bite me. They were rocking out until the city pulled the plug! That was a dule edged event to be sure, on one hand we were all pissed that the show was cut off -- on the other hand, we got to rebel against the man as we made as much noise as the concert for the next 10 minuets cheering for the guys.

Here is a shot of the hills around the venue! GREAT for someone cut off from "the wilds" of Missouri for so long...you should see the homes.

How close were we to the stage? Well, Marie took this from our seats:

And here is John Popper and the Boys Rocking out!!

Key moments in the concert:

1. John Popper "Oh, you guys love the OLD shit, huh?" And switching the set list (saw it later) to NAIL a bunch of stuff from the first album (self title) and Traveler's and Thieves. Why is this amazing? Well, going from Dropping Some NYC, inset Optimistic Thought and I Have My Moments, and then finish the Jam on Dropping Some NYC. 18 mins of AWESOME.

2. What I like to call the "whoa-ly shit how is he still standing set!" Hook, Run Around, Brother John, All-In the Groove in one high speed mash-up set. His only breaks were to take a drag off what COULD have been a cigerette during the instrumental Jams that weren't him.

3. "No Woman No Cry" cover. Apparent he did this with Ziggy Marley at some point, but it sounded better solo, I can't describe the energy. Obviously, a bunch of 30-40 yr olds need something in common to jam on, this was it. I have the Marley-Popper track if anyone is interested.

So yeah, I was rocking out:

Loved the new stuff from 'Bastardos' (and the art too, check it out). Had an awesome time there with Piggy and it was cool from front to back. The cherry on this Awesome Pie came right after we arrived. I was looking through the concert event calender while we were milling around the front area and BAM, there was B.B. King heading there for the 80th Birthday tour! Sick cause I knew as close as we were, it had to be sold out, I tried my luck at the box-office. Turns out, he was about to free up four handicapped spaces that hadn't sold yet out of 8 available. I bought two. Now I'm 10th row center for the greatest living blues man's 80th birthday celbration/concert! I am sooooo pumped.

Did you know the zip code for United baggage claim is 60-666!? Well, I do now and I know why.

As I mentioned on my previous post, I flew into St. Louis for a visit and then was tuning up for a trip to NY to meet my team's boss and the rest of the network there. Let me point out that the show, the event and the subsequent meetings went great! I got to see my older brother, ate a terrific (if expensive) meal at Smith & Wolenski's in Manhattan and stayed in a pretty nice hotel. However, it wasn't the case for the whole flight. It all started with a conversation with a snippy united clerk that went something like this:

"You need to go now and get on an earlier plan, the next one might be delayed." Said Mr. Clerk, brusquely without eye contact.
"Oh great, thanks for the heads up," I cautiously state "this won't affect the baggage that you just check in under my original flight will it?"
"No. You are meeting the same flight so even if it goes on the wrong plane, it will get there." Said looking over my shoulder at the people behind me.
"OK, but won't that mean that the luggage would be late it the second plane was/" I seriously queried.
"No, you'll be fine but you have to go now." He bluntly stated.
"OK, if you are SURE my bag will make it, I will need everything first thing in the morning?"
"Yes. You are fine. Hurry along. Next Please." he said dismissively.

Welllll...good news is, I got on the early plane. Bad news is, they kept loading possible "delay" passengers on it until it was 45 minutes late and then we had a lovely half hour sit on the tarmac waiting to take off. Not to be deterred from going farther off course, we make it to Chicago. I hustle down to my connection and after convincing the gate agent she can't give away my seat as I am, in fact, standing in front of her I board up and...after a 30 minute delay. We are ready to take off. Here comes the fun part. Apparently, there is a big storm over the NY-Newark area and we and we need to land at Washington Dull-ass due to the fact that...and here is the kicker...we DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FULE TO CIRCLE IN THE HOLDING PATTERN IN NJ! Great, wonderful, fun. We are assured they will try to turn it around as fast as possible. Note, that right now, I'm looking at getting in after midnight and to my hotel an hour to an hour and a half later. Of course, hurray, this is not quick 20-30 minute turn around...oh, no,...is an hour and a half sit down on the tarmac as they try to find someone to get the FULE HOSE un-stuck from the wing. (Imagine my confidence level at this point folks.) Well, it happens and after a nice stand in line (apparently we aren't the only re-routes in the United army) we are off to Newark. Landing in new was, of course, a conga line to the terminal, but hey -- NOTHING -- compared to the trip so far. Until, of course, the baggage conveyor stops and I'm one of 3 people standing there waiting. I quickly assume the worst and stop in to the claims office and, yep, my bag is still in Chicago. At 2 am with a trade show and embassy meeting the next morning, I'm told that they'll "do their best" to get the bag on the 9:30am flight out to NYC. Oh joy, oh glee, oh happy day. One thing to mention here. The constant in-and-out of A/C and new climate set off my sinuses and had me kicked around and apparently the germ tube air circulation of the flights did not help. At 2:30 am in New Jersey, I know that I am sick and that my voice and head and on the verge of breaking down. Well, I missed the last train into the city thanks to our lovely baggage delay and now I hop a $90 cab right into the city and right to my hotel. Huzzah, I have arrive, sans baggage, but I am here in one piece. It is pushing 4 am, United tells me I am eligible for reimbursement for the lost luggage and cost to me to get things to live on but that means hopping right out of bed at about 7 am, getting a shower, getting out to have a suit fitted ASAP and then off to my trade show. "Screw it" I think "if that is how it has to be, oh well, adapt and overcome."

7 am comes way, way, WAY too early and I beat the snooze mercilessly but eventually submit and wander to the shower. Long story short, a safety device was stuck and no hot water in the shower. They send someone up quickly to fix it, I rinse my fat ass down and I'm out into the streets of Manhattan in yesterday's clothes heading to the nearest Men's Warehouse. I love these guys, really I do. Not only had the team in San Francisco hooked my up with a great light weight set of suits for the summer trip to New York, they had turned it around fast and got me a great deal on just what I wanted. Albeit, the suits are in Chicago, but I know where to go when I need some help. So, in I go and I tell the salesman I need the fastest suit up and turn around in history. One hour later, I have been suited up from Florshiem shoes to "no worry" shirt and it has been altered and I am OUT the door and on my way to the trade show. Score again for Men's Warehouse...plus the will alter the suit if I loose the weight I'm working on, for free. Score two, hell, gold stars all around.

As I mentioned, show/event went great, no news is good news there. My older brother worked the event like a champ even though he was a guest on short notice and I am again amazed on who the guy I grew up with turned out to be. Waldo Sr. on Wall Street...who would have guessed?

And now...the trip home. Welll, of course, stormy weather is approaching and I'm hoping to beat it out of the airport, but the crew at United decides to screw around and delay the baggage load and jetway pull back and 10 minuets after we are supposed to be in the air, they announce that LIGHTNING has been spotted and due to union regs NO ONE will be getting anywhere near the plane to take off the jet way or finish the last THREE bags that need to be loaded. So, there we sit for two hours all in from that delay and the cattle line to take off. Note: I didn’t get the worst of it, a co-worker leaving to visit San Francisco sat on that tarmac for FIVE HOURS waiting to leave and did not make it to her destination until 6 am Pacific time, so this next part is a little more irony that whine. We leave, hit Denver, and since I was able to call United from the plane before we took off, I'm set for the 9:50 flight heading to San Jose. Philly Piggy is hopping to pick me up at around 11 and whisk me home. We take off on time, no delays, beautiful! Gonna finally have a leg make it on time. Nope. Mid-flight it is announced that we will be routing to Salt Lake City for a medical situation. Seems that someone it ill. Turns out it was a panic attack that induced severe hyper-ventilation. Awwww. Anyway, another hour and a half turn around on the refuelling and bag pull-off for our nervous wheezer (what is with these turn around times) and I am heading the San Jose. I get in after midnight, I get home in a half hour, I get to bed by 1:30 am. I'm in to work the next day. I am sick as a dog!

Due to a work overload and this trip, I can't just suck it up and stay home but have gone in diligently the whole time since arriving back. I've probably infected the whole office. But, I am alive, and I know why the zip code for United ends in 666.

St. Louis this weekend and CARS!

So, I'm on my way to New York and was lucky enough to drop in and get a visit with my "little otter" and thanks to the kindness of Mike and Christie (whom I apparently forgot to finalize my travel plans with--aren't I special? I mean short bus kind of special.) had a great HQ to have a good time. Outside of being the captains of the local park playgrounds, we went to see Car's. As much as I originally thought this would be a first for a failure for Disney/Pixar, I was wrong. First off, the artwork is stunning and the use of CGI for reflective lighting and detail effects is unparralelled. In a huge crop of animated features coming out this year (finally making that Oscar catagory a race) I originally thought this would fall flat, but it turns out it will most likely be the juggernaught of the catagory. Great soundtrack, great voicacting, superior story and visuals. YEAH!

So, I'm in the airport posting this, so it will be short. On the way to NY to see my brother (first time in a while) and of course do my thing for work and meet all the heads of the network. A little nervous about keeping up with my workload while doing this, but I think we can make it -- especially with all the work getting done on the plane (kinda).

I'll spellcheck this later, untill then, here is something to make you smile. I call it the Blue Pig of Happiness.

Art and the transformation:

Had a thought that was close to an epiphany today. Might have just been a brain fart, but tell me what you think. It concerns art and the freedom it produces in the mind and how that, in the end, effects the person. By art, as you'll note, I don't just mean squiggly lines with paint and pencil, but also music, theater and dance, etc.

The theme revolves around the outsider's question of "why are artists so weird?" that often comes to mind when we see a green mohawk, off-beat clothes, funky lifestyles, etc. I would put it to this. It comes from the freedom loosed in the subconscious and an artist's want to return there. When you are "in the zone" artistically, you are creating that which does not exist. You are molding reality to fit your format, not the other way around. Your line determines the reality, your interpretation shows the true intention and your poetry or lyrics create the emotional center of thought. In the real world, the thoughts of the masses and harsh realities of life define this and people hide in their small (or large) boxes and create personas that won't attract undue attention or get them "in trouble" in the real world.

However, the artist has tasted this opiate created in his or her own mind. Like an addiction it rewires neural synapses and creates a preferred method of interpreting input and creating output. The euphoria of creation, especially a magnum opus but even a prideful doodle, is like a hit off that pipe or candy from the needle and, after a while, you don't know how to function without it. The day-to-day desk job gets grey and colorless and you long to express yourself, taste that internal drug and show it to the world. You want it to color everyday choices, you want it to flow from you because that connects you with it and lets you know its there. Its comfort when the box closes in and the "fake" persona you wear feels like a straight-jacket. You disregard social norms to wear it on your sleeve so to speak, or incorporate it into your life. So, how does this make an artist "weird?"

You may see it in the green mohawk, the unique indie/vintage clothes, obscure political stances, tics and habits that seem outside of anything remotely necessary for survival, or even in a peaceful, passive mode that inspires people to talk or listen. Isn't that weird? Isn't that STRANGE to go outside the norm, walk uphill, swim upstream, play with Calvin-ball like rules inside a very black & white world? Yes. Yes it is. But when you look at it from this angle, when you see from inside the creation junkie out onto the world, you can understand it. You can appreciate it. You may even take the ultimate real world stance and pass currency off on them for a capitalistic "hell yeah" shout of agreement. And then long to be that weird guy. And wish you could touch that vein of creativity. Remember when you took a dose way back when. Remember when the world turned cold when you turned your back on the creative and chose the stoic, grey, necessary reality of life. When you became normal, and they became weird.Do you understand it now? Or do you feel weird for giving it up?

Why can't I blog like this?


Hopefully, with some practice, I'll develop the acerbic wit of Gabe over at Penny Arcade. I'm not saying my summer vacations were exactly like this, but you would assume that quite a few kids along for the ride on their parents vacation ran into the same thing. Who are kids to complain, I mean, they could be home, riding their bikes, playing with their friends and attending summer fun fests but instead they get the back of a station wagons and a 3ft. radius to psyche scaring family battles that will haunt their dreams 25 years later. Excerpt below (warning, naughty launguage ahead):

"The lake we would sometimes travel to, and I think they called it a lake because it had not completely evaporated, was clearly home to toxic mutants. As dangerous as that sounds, this was not the primary concern, for this area of Washington was famous for its rattlesnakes. I don't mean they had a rattlesnake exhibit where you could see them inside a cage, and then emerge from that dark zoo, the sun on your face, in a land blessed and free of them. No, the people in
"them parts" are proud of these things. There is a sign by the main thoroughfare that says "Watch Out for Mister Shakes!" who is apparently famous not only for being a snake but for being a very large and dangerous, free roaming fucking man-eating snake. It was my presumption as a young man that he was called Mister Shakes both a) as a courtesy, i.e., "Please don't bite my fucking ass, Mister Shakes!" and also because of the rattling you might hear before he slunk from the grass to murder you. I understand now with the wisdom of many years that the shakes they referred to describe the strong spasms associated with their thick,
(sometimes) black venom.

And the food out there on the frontier. Jesus Christ. Eating at whatever rat trap happened to be attached to the gas station we just coasted into. Plate heaped high with fried hair. Warm cylinder of milk pulled from whatever animal happened to be pregnant at the time. So, no. He can rattle his keys all day, if he would like. I'm not going to suit up and get in the car just so I can drink cat milk, eat hair, and get killed by the king of fucking snakes."

Linkage: www.pennyarcade.com

Superman Returns, The Fat Man leaves, life marches on:

So, Superman Returns is out this weekend. I'm not even bothering with proper title grammar, the title is just so generic, but I guess its better than "A Search for Peace". Anyway, my lovely lady and I and a few folks from the office will be tracking over to the Metreon (see also: Nerdvana) to grub a little and catch the show. I'll let you know how it went later. It will have to live up to the comic genius of Nacho Libre the last film we saw to make me feel real good about it, though. I hate that...Movie Let Down. I think you get MLD when you are on a movie "high" from a great flick and then POW! You go see a stinker or just an ok film and it seems to even make the popcorn taste stale. Maybe we should schedule or viewings (based on credible reviews) from worst to best. Start out with latest Wayan's Brother's Fiasco (who keeps giving them MONEY!) and end up with some Swashbuckling fun with Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Who knows.

So, I'm back on a gym plan and pseudo diet. I say pseudo diet as I don't think I eat poorly, I just eat too much and at the wrong times so I am attempting to adjust my eating lifestyle to create a more flexible dining plan (with my travel and event schedule, its a must) that fits me while now hitting the gym at least 4 days a week. Killer place here on the first floor of my building. My fees include a locker, full shower/toiletry services and even laundry for my gym clothes so I don't have to pack junk back and forth or "forget" and put off a workout. Why am I suddenly on this? Take a look at me and Hulk. Note that my gut is about the size of his chest and my chest is the size of his waist. Bad combo I think. I'm weighing in at 249 this week. Tune in here to see how I'm doing. (Look at me being all accountable and stuff!) My goal is 235 and a sub 38 waist by the end of July. 225 by the end of August, 210 by the end of September, bordering on a 36 waist again and flat at 200 by the Holidays. Not sure if I'm going to tune up tighter than that. I'm pretty comfortable at my frame coming in at two bills, but we'll see when we get there.

I'll be in St. Louis the 7th-9th and in NY the 9th-12th. Visiting the cutest daughter in the world in the Lou and working in NY but hoping to catch up with the Wall Street Waldo before I leave. CALL ME!

Hulkamania -- In case you did not see it.


Me being a fanboy, Baja Cantina, Marina Del Rey, California.

I have found Nerdvana...it is here:
http://gocalifornia.about.com/od/casfmenu/a/metreon.htm

Proof, of all this, is this:
http://www.walkofgame.com/

And in case you are to lazy to read links, it contains:
Game Workshop Specialty Store
Comic and Kitch Shop "It Came From Another World"
Jillian's
A Full-On Arcade with a BAR (yes, a bar, with beer, etc.) and Hyper Bowling
Sony Style and Playstation Flagship Stores
restaurants
escalator (cause hey, who wants to climb all those steps!)
And more.

OK, well, this was my first PRIDE weekend in San Francisco. For those of you not familiar with it...that is Gay PRIDE (always all capital letters...In case you didn't notice it or something) weekend. The day when such things as huge marches (segregated by your personal choice oddly enough), boy on boy "kiss a thons" downtown with two guys in jockeys on a life raft "kissing for a cause"" (which cause was unstated so your guess -- I'm going with mono) and an entire, very popular, radio station turning into K-GAY for the weekend. And really, that is just scratching the surface. Other than the musical styling of Lez Zeplin (all girl Zeplin cover band), I was a miss in town for most of the weekend...I'm sure they will understand. Overall, I thought it was too worked over. Anywhere but to the sexually hardened populous of San Frannie, this would have been too much. But, where the Castro is king (or queen?) it seems to have just blown by with nothing more than a raised eyebrow from most of the straight and already well aware populous. So, the question would be...how effective is it really? Discuss...it is, afterall, a blog.

Hey everyone! Look who is getting all cyberspacy. In honor of the fact that Google and the gang are giving away the online world for free and bending us to their will with it, I hath wrot a blog into existence. What will I put up here...hell, who knows. I just gave myself anonymity and a place to broadcast to the world, if the net has proven anything, its that the results will vary. Most likely it will become a place to find out "Where's Waldo Now", somewhere I can post photos and updates on life, love and work and someplace to rant about what got my goat for the moment.

So, enjoy. Tilt your head back and engorge on the sweet nectar that is the beauty of my written words. Then, vomit up the sour taste it may or may not leave in your stomach.

Adios,

Waldo